My Cat Nearly Died Recently. Here’s What I Learned About Myself During That Time.

Recently, she was diagnosed with a perforated bowel, and nearly died. I was a mess during that time, which I’ve since termed the Trouble Watch.

Thankfully, she’s come through her surgeries with a clean bill of health, and is back to being a full-time cat again, with no movement restrictions, no need for medication, and no need for anymore surgeries. She’s still got some shaved sections of her coat to grow back, but otherwise is healthy, active, and back to being her former mischievous self. And even with a big medical bill to pay off, I am overjoyed to have her back.

The Trouble Watch started on Wednesday, February 22, and lasted until Sunday, March 19. It was a tumultuous time for me emotionally, as I dealt with the ups, downs, complications, and the uncertainty that came with the possibility that my beloved cat might actually die. I fought like hell throughout the entire time, determined to keep her alive. Some days I came home exhausted and scared; other times I just wanted all the lack of clarity to go away.

You learn some things about yourself when you have to deal with the possibility of a loved one dying, and the Trouble Watch illuminated a few things about myself that I hadn’t previously realized. Here are a few things I learned while trying to save my kitty.

1. I’ll Go to Great Lengths for a Loved One.
   I’ve lost pets before, and grieved for them, but during the Trouble Watch I had an active role to play. I was able to make a difference, and I reached down inside me and fought like I’d never fought before. Trouble was less than five years old, and I couldn’t let her die so young if I could save her. So I put down the financing for her (very large) medical care. I listened to the hospital staff and doctors. I drove 40 miles across town, every day, to visit her and let her know I hadn’t abandoned her.
   
   And Trouble responded. She fought for her life, and was a strong, brave, well-behaved patient. To this day, I’m so proud of her. She kept alert, bright eyed, and energetic when many cats in her condition would have gone septic quickly and died. Trouble was fighting to come back to me, and as long as she fought, I would never stop fighting, either. That’s part of the reason I started Trouble’s GoFundMe, in addition to everything else.
   
   
2. Making Videos Is Therapeutic for Me.
   One of the first things I did after having Trouble hospitalized was to make a video explaining the situation. It took me a little time, but the act of recording and editing a video in which I got to talk about this crisis was really good for me. Using my creative muscles to confront a developing and uncertain event really helped me to process and rationalize it.
   
   This is a far cry from when I first started trying to make videos, and nearly quit when the editing process proved so cumbersome. I’m glad I’ve come so far, and hope to continue developing my creative skills with YouTube and video creation.

3. Pet Insurance Is… Probably Not a Bad Idea.
   I’ve always wondered why pet insurance isn’t a more common part of career compensation packages, but after the Trouble Watch, I’m actively searching for a program under which I can insure Trouble. Medical bills for pets are ridiculously expensive, and the burden of those high costs can be mitigated if you have pet insurance. It’s not exactly cheap, but it’s not bank-breaking either, and frankly the peace of mind pet insurance can afford you may be worth it.
   
   In Trouble’s case, I want to protect her as much as possible, so I’m looking into pet insurance for her. She’s worth it.
   
   
4. I CAN Make Content Every Day, If I Try.
   This was one of the tougher pieces of truth to digest.
   
   At a certain point of the Trouble Watch, I just started posting updates on Trouble’s condition: on my YouTube Community page, my Instagram, and other social media. It may not have always been video content, but I did have things to say, and made it my business to make sure they got put out into the world. I came to realize: I have it in me to make content on a consistent basis, even with a full-time job and other things going on.
   
   So now I need to put out a more consistent volume of content, even when I’m not in crisis. Content creation can happen daily, even if it isn’t video uploads. I will be trying to do one of the following things on a daily basis: upload a video; broadcast a live stream; write an article, blog post, or YT update, with accompanying photo or picture; upload a short-form video; or even Tweet out a short musing.
   
   
5. Having an Amazing and Supportive Community Around Me Is Wonderful.
   I mentioned earlier that the Trouble Watch was a tumultuous time for me emotionally, and while I hope never to have to experience something like it again, there came with it a BIG silver lining: my community. It is one thing to understand how a good community helps creators, but to experience it during a crisis enhances it by an order of magnitude.
   
   I’ve cultivated a small but dedicated following of viewers during my time on YouTube, and when I made the situation with Trouble known, the outpouring of support was incredible, and really helped keep me afloat at a time when I really needed it. Be it from viewers, fellow YouTubers, or other content creators in my circle, you guys kept me going with supportive words, donations, and signal boosting, and helped me stay hopeful for Trouble, even as the situation threatened to bring me down.
   
   To all of you in my extended community: my viewers, followers, subscribers, and so many more: please allow me to extend my deepest thanks, on behalf of both myself and Trouble. You guys are beyond awesome, and we are both extremely grateful to have you in our lives.

If you’re not familiar with the Trouble Watch saga, you can see all the videos, live streams, and Shorts I made about it right here in this playlist. Thank you so much!